New X-Files movie X-ceeds my "gross factor"

Last Friday, I took a rare day of vacation from work. For once, I had no appointments, no design meetings, no training and no installs scheduled. It was a free day, so I decided I better take advantage while I can. It was only later that I realized the new X-Files movie was opening that same day.

I became an X-Phile fairly late in the game. I had occassionally seen an episode, but I didn't know the mythology and who the characters were other than the two leads. That all changed in college when I started dating a chemical engineering major who never missed an episode. I remember how excited he was about seeing the Cigarette Smoking Man on campus and my reaction was "There was a guy walking around dressed up like a cigarette butt?" Boy, did I have the wrong idea about that!

We started watching episodes together. I went to see the first movie with him. Eventually, I was hooked. The only problem I had was that my threshold for gore was significantly lower than his. I'm not sure if that's because I wasn't allowed to watch the Nightmare on Elm Street or Halloween movies when I was a kid or what (my college friends used to tease me because I would have trouble watching something as innocuous as ER.), but my college boyfriend knew exactly where that threshold was and he would tell me when it was OK for me to look and what scenes were beyond my "gross factor" as he called it, especially when it was an episode he had already seen.

To make a really long story short, my college boyfriend and I eventually parted ways. I don't regret that, but I have to admit that I could have used his help on Friday when I went to see the new X-Files movie by myself. I went during the day so I could avoid the evening crowds. I didn't think I would mind seeing the movie by myself, but my first clue that I might be in trouble was when I had difficulty watchng some of the super scary previews before the movie. The new X-Files movie definitely exceeded my gross factor during several scenes. I really wished I had someone sitting next to me who could tell me when it was safe to look. The whole plot smacked of the ridiculous to me. It used to be that I didn't mind the constant leaps of faith the series asked me to take. Maybe my tastes have changed as I have gotten older -- in both men and entertainment.

What's your favorite mondegreen?

Merriam-Webster recently released its list of new words for the 2008 update of the Collegiate® Dictionary. I couldn't help smiling when I read the definition of the new word "mondegreen." I had never heard that word before and I was curious what it meant. A mondegreen is "a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung." Who among us can't identify with that? Who hasn't been singing the lyrics of a favorite song in front of another person only to hear that person exclaim, "What did you just say?!" And once you repeat what you've just sung, "Those aren't the words to that song!" And then you end up feeling like a fool. For a film reference of the phenomena, see the "Louie, Louie" scene in the movie "Coupe de Ville" (one of my favorites).

My most memorable mondegreen is from Spandau Ballet's "True." When the song was released in 1983, I was just seven years old. For some reason, I thought the lyrics of the chorus were "I know this barge is tripping" instead of (what makes more sense) "I know this much is true." How a barge trips and why someone would sing about it, only my seven-year-old mind knows. But to this day, I can't hear the song on the radio without laughing about it.

Of course, there have been many mondegreens for me over the years -- sometimes I even think that my made up lyrics are better than what they really turn out to be -- but none as memorable or as ridiculous as the one I mentioned above.

What are your most memorable mondegreens? Post your favorite mondegreens to this blog so we can laugh about them together. The dictionary publisher is also asking for your submissions here.